SHE GAVE HIM A KNIFE.
She continues to pace back and forth oblivious of my presence. I sat on the bed mute, not knowing what to say, not knowing if welcome or are you okay? Is right to say at the moment. She continues her monologue. " I thought myself a victim and gave him a knife. I thought if he knew past my skin, my words, my face, he won't like me that very much, i wanted him to love me, not for my tears or fears because i am so much more than past tense emotions. So many times i have held my tongue, afraid, afraid to say the little i think, afraid to say he was wrong, to say i am tired, to say the words, and so he had my consent since silence meant that. Hahaha! Daily he thought himself to be a conqueror, a conqueror that i have become more than today." Hearing her, tears wells up in my eyes, i don't know how or when, it rolls down my cheek. I wipe it off with the back of my hand.
Jessy is like a sister to me, everytime she comes home with tears and pain in her eyes, a heavy heart, and a bruised skin, i always feel this pain which although cannot measure up to the pain she bears. I want to help her but how can i? Even if i know how she won't let me. It makes me wonder if love is a spell, a curse or something. Eric has inflicts her more pain than she can bear yet she counts it all joy, a trial of love.
"What did you do to Eric?" Her face, covers with tears, has mixed emotions, crying and laughing at the same time. "What did you do to Eric" i asked again. She responds with a smirk, then i tear her emotions apart with a slap, she was only crying now.
" I...i....i" she starts to sob again.
"You what Jessy? What in heaven's name have you done?"
" I...i killeeeeed him, he is dead"
"What!!!!! How? Why?"i asked.
"I don't know Viv, i don't, i didn't want to, you know how much i love Eric right?"
Her wide eyes stares at me, waiting for an obvious answer. But i didn't reply.
"He was hurting me again, i told him i didn't want to, he didn't listen, he forced himself on me, Viv, he raped me" she said amidst tears.
"I wanted to stop him, i didn't mean to kill him, i just wanted him to stop. And then i pushed him with all the strength i could muster, he fell hiting his head hard on the tiled floor. I swear it wasn't intentional."
I stare at her, my lips heavier than it normally is, i feel a thrilling sensation. My body cold, yet beads of perspiration adorns my forehead. Words becomes very few.
Silence occupies the room. Our tears finds liberty, it flows freely and profusely as we wait for the judgment of GOD and Man.
P.S: say no to violence and abuse of all kinds. Love yourself and never, ever give anyone the right to treat you like a nobody.
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