HURTFUL LOVE

She said she will not love again, and so she wrapped her heart and locked it in a bottle and put it inside her fridge. It will be cold, very cold. She will never crush nor love. She could even play with hearts, yes,  she will, she will shatter hearts with no mercy, just like Dan had no mercy when he broke hers into pieces and left every piece for her to pick and fix like a jigsaw puzzle. She will never love again, even if she wanted to, where is the heart?  Who will love with a broken heart? To hell with love, to hell with that feeling that makes you vulnerable.

***
‘hello’ I am Kyle, what is your pretty name?’

She turns to see a not so handsome looking guy staring at her, she almost walked away but remembered her promise to hurt and break hearts. She stopped, smiled at him, ‘ I  am Clara’.

‘Nice to meet you Clara, you are pretty’

‘Yeah, thanks’ maintaining the simplest smile’.

***
Who would have believed she could love again? She had sworn never to love, how did Kyle mend her heart so easily?  How did her heart heal so fast? She was convinced that Cupid has visited her and she hoped he will stay, she feared, she prayed, and then she did everything to keep her man. She forgot her past hurt and moved on, after all,  the past only drags you back and down. She focused on the future and enjoyed the present. She will do everything to love her knight in shining armour,  the knight that was tearing her whole being with every strength of his love, he made loving easy

***
‘seriously, After everything? After everything I have been through and have told you, you can still do this to me?’

‘Listen Clara, look,  I am sorry okay? I don’t know what do say, the whole thing is kind of complicated, I love you but'

‘But what Kyle? What are you going to say? That you are leaving me for your Ex?'

‘Yeah, it sounds crazy but I love her. I am not saying I don’t love you, she is my first, she made me. Now that she is back I want to give her, us, a chance Clara'.

‘Us? us? Really, us?'

‘You are a good person Clara, I know you will find a good man that will love you more than you love him, just be patient.’

‘I am a good person that is not good for you right? Why can’t you be the good man? Why the hell is she back into your life?’

‘I don’t know, but I am glad she is, she completes me, she spins my world. Please Clara, I need you to understand me’

‘You should have told me you weren’t happy with me’

‘I was, but with her, it’s a different kind of happiness.’

‘wow! I know what you want me to do, you want me to cry, to beg you, but I wont, because I have had enough, I am tired, because I am a  fool, a foooooooooooool! , Ha ha ha,  I will laugh it all away. So get out.

***
CLARA
Now what? I guess it is over for me, why does love butterflies die in my hands? Is it that I hold them too tightly? I never closed my heart to love, I still believed in it, I prayed, I did everything I could to keep him. Why does love hate me? Why do I have bad luck in love? Why does Cupid pierce his arrow into my heart everytime I feel and was convinced he has come to let love stay, he leaves me pierced with grief? No, no, no, do not cry Clara... you are stronger than you think, you can get through it. Just continue to laugh, laugh so hard until you feel no pain, that’s how you will beat this.

CLARA’S SUBCONSCIOUS MIND
Come on Clara, you know you are not that strong enough to go through your 7th heart break smiling and laughing like it is a jackpot. Just get it done and over with, did you not say you will kill yourself if Kyle ever breaks your fragile heart? What are you waiting for? Another hurtful love? Come of it now Clara, you know it will never happen. Love is a poison to your heart, it leaves you damaged. Just choose how you will like to die. Knife, poison, or you can jump in front of a moving car, that is easier.
CLARA
Never! I will not die,  no man is worth dying for, I will live, hold my head up high, shoulders high, cheeks up and face adorned with smiles. That is how I will live but never again will I open my heart to love, NEVER.
***
And so she had enough of love. It was really over. She chained her broken heart and locked it away. Needing no one to mend nor break it.

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